CRAWFORD, TX – An abortion clinic was shut down for using old fashioned methods, due to a Crawford ordinance. “We has no choice,” said officer Albert Busen, “Crawford is very strict, no wire hangers.”
Clinic owner claims some like the old fashioned method, and that many people would be glad not to be born in Crawford.
“It’s an attack on free choice,” says Officer Busen, who has a free abortion and fetus burger with his frequent customer card, “where else will I send my road side freebies when I might have gotten them pregnant?”
“It’s also one of the only places that uses all of what they kill,” Busen praises on, “this town will feel empty without it.”
“But we can’t have any more wire hangers.”
The Mayor was not available.